


Leprechauns and Punches

by Ayame_Ryuukaru



Series: Life in the Hellsing Manor [5]
Category: Hellsing
Genre: Drabble, Mean Alucard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-02-03
Packaged: 2018-01-11 00:31:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1166453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayame_Ryuukaru/pseuds/Ayame_Ryuukaru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saint Patrick's day has come. Alucard is scheming something, best be worried about him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leprechauns and Punches

**Author's Note:**

> This was written so very long ago. Enjoy.

Alucard grinned to himself as he watched Pip round the corner of the firing range. The Count’s smile grew as he waited for the perfect moment to spring his surprise. With a sadistic chuckle, the Count vanished.

“Et’s see, ‘hat did ‘Eras ‘ant?” (Let’s see, what did Seras want?) Pip wondered to himself. Without a warning, the commander found himself hanging upside down. A squawk of fright escaped the French man as he struggled against the hand on his ankle.

“Keep it up and I will drop you.” Pip squeaked girlishly as he saw he was fifty feet above the ground. The impact wouldn’t kill him, but it was rather unnerving. “Good, now, I must speak with you, Goose.” Alucard grinned at the glare he received.

“Hat do you ‘ant ‘ith me, Aluucard-sir?” (What do you want with me, Alucard-sir?) Pip felt blood rush to his head.

“Do you know what tomorrow is?” The blonde commander nodded his head… Rather flopped his head around. “Seras, I mean Police-Girl thinks I know these so called duperchauns.” Confusion radiated off of Pip.

“Duperchauns? I think you mean Leprechauns, Aluucard-sir.” Pip wheezed out.

“Ah, that’s it. I want you to help me with this idea of mine. My master already consented to it, so it’d be wise if you agree with it.” Alucard’s eyes gleamed wth untold horror. Pip once again flopped his head.

“Okay! Okay! ‘Ust ‘et me down!” (Just let me down.) Alucard did just that. Pip screamed shrilly as he landed on the ground with a “Thump!”

“Get up Goose! We have little time to waste!” Alucard yelled to Pip.

Day passes to Night as St. Patrick’s Day emerges.

“Sir Integra? Have you seen Master?” Seras was in a green version of her normal yellow uniform.

“No Police-Girl, I have not. Try by the shooting range. He might be there.” Seras bowed before running to the range.

Pip looked at the midget in front of him. “Re you sure about this Mr. Aluucard-sir?” Alucard merely grinned before trying the rope around his neck. 

“Now it begins.” A fangish smile drew chills down the commander’s spine.

“Eras! Eras!” The Draculina turned to Pip who was running straight toward her. “Ome ith me! I aught one! I aught one!” (Seras! Seras! Come with me! I caught one! I caught one!) Pip dragged Seras into the range. Seras gasped loudly. There in front of her was a three foot, orange-haired leprechaun!

“OH MY GAWD!” Seras ran up to it and pulled on the creature’s cheek. “It’s real!” Pip gave a nod behind Sera’s back.

“Don’t touch me, Lassie! I’ll ne’er give ye me pot of gold!” The leprechaun yelled as he jerked his face from Seras.

However as the midget said this, his eye teeth began to grow. Seras blinked in confusion as she poked the creature in the eye.

“OW! Police-Girl.” Alucard’s voice rang from the leprechaun’s mouth.

“Master! You ASS-HOLE!” Seras punched Alucard in the nose. The hit was so strong it not only shattered Alucard’s nose and cheek bones, but it sent the Count off his feet and out the wall. Alucard looked up into the sun as he felt his nose stitch back together. Seras stormed off from the building thinking of all the ways to torture her master.

“Amn. Ought at ould ork.” (Damn. Thought that would work.) Alucard mumbled as he sat and reverted back to his normal form. Pip quietly left the Count brood to himself as the Commander went to find a nice quiet place to laugh.


End file.
